Tips to stop bothering with your partner’s irritating features and not die trying!
If you have passed the confinement with your partner, it is possible that small details that previously did not anger you, now seem to irritate you, the space in a relationship is necessary, but the quarantine has forced families to remain locked up, that’s why we give you 5 tips to deal with the flaws of your partner and make the confinement lighter for both of you.
Relationship therapists say that we usually ignore the things that drive us crazy because we have a busy life and are out of the house, focused on our own things. Now with nothing else to look at except Zoom and Netflix, it can be easy to fine tune the things we don’t like about the person we live with.
Relationship therapist Tammy Nelson says the flaws have probably been there all along. They just bother you more now that you’re stuck at home with them. This also means, then, that these traits will not go anywhere soon, even after the pandemic. Therefore, you may want to find out how to stop bothering with them now.
Tips for working with your partner
Note the specific positives associated with that negative
According to psychologist Aimee Daramus, it is difficult to accept traits that are essential for your partner and that reflect why we work well together. It’s weird how the things you love most about a person are sometimes the exact things that are most frustrating. You may hate someone’s mess but you love being able to relax and not have to be perfect with them.
Taking note of this association between your behavior or trait that you find irritating and the associated positive gains that these discomforts ultimately bring you can help tame your irritation. For example, the next time your partner reads you another depressing unsolicited piece of news, remember that one of the things you love about her is her curiosity and intellect.
Ask yourself if the trait is really hurting you.
That’s because, the distinction between “different from” and “harmful to” is very important, and the two are often combined. For example, you might want to hang your wet towels more neatly, but twisted towels aren’t hurting you.
Maintaining that perspective is important, agrees relationship expert and psychotherapist Laurel Steinberg. These traits are generally low on the offensive behavior scale. Anything too horrible could not be tolerated even in small amounts, and it would have been obvious early in the relationship.
Take into account the stress of the moment
Keep in mind that your partner may have developed some new quirks during this time due to stress: People react to stress in various ways, and yes, some of them can be irritating. Some people, when they feel overwhelmed, become spatial, disordered, tense, or easily frustrated. Instead of focusing on the symptom, we must mark the cause.
Once you have identified something as stress-induced behavior, you can help your partner manage the underlying problem, or at least develop some compassion for it.
Take time out
They may stay home more than ever, but that doesn’t mean they have to be physically in the same space, interacting, all the time. It’s okay not to spend every night or even most nights with your partner, and instead refocus on quiet solitude, time alone. This allows space within a somewhat claustrophobic and insulating situation.
Finally, it is important to note that you also have flaws. Remember, you also have annoying features.