Lady Gaga, intimate: “My worst enemy was always myself”

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In an interview for the release of her album “Chromatica”, the singer expressed her rejection of fame, her addiction to alcohol and the psychological problems she suffered.

Lady Gaga is a special artist. It is because of her career, her career, her way of singing and relating to her fans, for her very personal style. And it is also because of everything she usually does every time she gives interviews. Her documentary, Gaga: Five foot Two, premiered three years ago at the Toronto Film Festival, was already widely commented on, in which confessions of her weaknesses and problems were frequent. She also told lurid details of her private life in the promotion of A Star Is Born, the film in which she starred alongside Bradley Cooper and with which she brushed the Oscar for best actress, although she finally won it for best original song.

Now, the artist is releasing a new album, the first of pure pop, danceable, after seven years. Now, five months after what was announced and after the paralysis of the pandemic, Chromatica arrives, full of songs with a lot of rhythm, such as that “Born this way”, “Telephone” or “Alejandro” that launched it to fame a decade ago . And she returns with the image that also made her a star, with the colorful hair and ornate looks that characterize her.

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These days, Gaga is giving some very personal interviews. The most recent was with the American television network CBS. In it, she talks about the fact that this album, although danceable, does not stop having authentic lyrics. “There is not a single song on the album that is not true. Not one ”, she recounts in the talk, which takes place at her home and where she wears a black chinstrap full of sequins, like the one worn by the journalist who interviews her, Lee Cowan, sitting several meters from her. As he explains, the darkness that he lived made him create this product: “I abandoned myself. I hated being famous, being a star. I was exhausted, exhausted ”.

In the room where the interview takes place, the singer is surrounded by guitars, cables and a large black piano. “This is the piano that I used for years. I wrote a lot of songs on this piano. And I think: ‘My God, how special it is, I love this piano.’ I wouldn’t know how to explain it. And then I look at this piano and think, ‘You ruined my life! You turned me into Lady Gaga. My worst enemy is Lady Gaga! ”

“I thought about it a lot: my worst enemy is here,” she says, and she continues that kind of conversation, of anger with herself, showing the negative thoughts that cross her head: “But what have you done? You can’t even go to the supermarket anymore. If you go out to dinner with your family, someone will come to the table. Everything always revolves around you. And your clothes, look at what clothes! Why do you have to be like this? And she confesses that she had suicidal thoughts: “The truth is that I did not understand why I had to live, more than for my family.” After showing that for years there were people watching that she did not get hurt, she says: “It was a thought, a real sensation: why continue here?” She says that being so photographed and observed made her feel less of a person, and that made everything worse. “Total panic, all over the body. It is as if it were an object, not a human being ”.

The interview with CBS is the second important that the artist grants this month, and where she denies the problems that fame brought her. The singer is on the cover of Billboard magazine and in it she tells how she lived with fear that idea of ​​being a consumer object for the public, how it terrified her. “I used to get up every day and remember that it was Lady Gaga … and it depressed me,” she says in the publication. Psychological therapy, she explains, helped her get through it, but it wasn’t easy. “I was peeling all the layers of the onion in therapy, so as I got deeper, closer to the core, and the core of the onion sucks,” she relates graphically. Still, she decided to continue treatment, chaining cigarettes and crying, and also drinking too much alcohol to keep herself numb. “My very existence was a threat to me. I thought about that every day.

The process made her much stronger, and that is why she now feels capable of helping those who go through something like this. “When I see people suffering, as many suffer now, my brain tells them ‘put on the superhero costume and here we go’.” Gaga was very aware of the coronavirus pandemic. She, who says half-jokingly half-seriously in the interview that she has been in quarantine since she was 21 years old. She canceled the release of her album, scheduled for April 11, due to the great wave of cases that affected her country, the United States, and the entire world. And she decided to focus on philanthropy and host a huge, online fundraising concert. At her call were Beyoncé, Elton John, the Rolling Stones, Taylor Swift, Paul McCartney, Chris Martin, Billie Eilish.

Not only did the pandemic change her way of acting and thinking, but also other political events in her country, such as the murder of George Floyd at the hands of a white policeman in Minneapolis. “When you were born in this country, you took the poison of white supremacy,” he says bluntly: “I’m in the process of learning and unlearning things that I was taught throughout my life. Social networks also take criticism of Gaga, especially the culture of Instagram, of the quick like, of showing off the perfect lives. “It’s okay to upload selfies, it’s fun, I do too. But let’s make sure it’s not everything. You have to be more open and go beyond all that culture of beauty. “

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