Anatomy of Passion graduate Abigail Spencer reflects on the “hardest” year that almost “killed me”: “Stress almost put me out of action”


Abigail Spencer. Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP/Shutterstock

To survive difficult times. Thanks to the “intensive trauma therapy”, Abigail Spencer was able to cope with even the biggest problems.

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“On August 4, 2021, I experienced the hardest year of my life,” the 41—year-old graduate of the Anatomy of Passion wrote on Instagram on Thursday, August 4, along with a carousel of photos with her 13-year-old son Roman. “It almost killed me, and if I hadn’t trained my mind, body and spirit and surrounded myself with the most incredible community of friends and healers, I don’t believe I would have survived. I’m not going to go into the details of the events that led to what I’m going to share, but I will tell you some emotional headlines of its consequences.”

Spencer, who shares her son with ex-husband Andrew Pruett, also revealed that while she doesn’t usually share “personal stories about what’s really going on in my life” through her social media, she felt inspired to open up in honor of her birthday.

“I feel obligated to share a little more with you, reflecting on the past year, as I determine the intentions and vision for the next one,” the graduate of Force Majeure noted in her social media post. “Last year, when I turned 40, I mentioned that I went on a field emotional recovery for a week of intensive trauma therapy to take a deeper look at myself. Get more healing and more tools to dance with the fullness of life. They say it’s equivalent to 100 hours of therapy a week.”

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She added: “This week has been radical and life-changing. I entered my 40th year feeling better than ever. It’s like I’ve connected my coccyx to the sun. I am ready to accept life at any cost. And the boy did it.”

The Florida native continued her emotional message in her Instagram comments, saying that stress “almost took me out of action.”

Spencer wrote: “I literally felt like stress was eating away at my insides. I couldn’t get up from the floor for several days. Fear and loss gripped me. Anxiety would have stopped me. In the battle of my life. Several times I cried so hard that I vomited. For several days I trembled for hours, restraining myself from incessant suffering.”

Actress This means War further explained that she did not leave the house for several days or “caught her breath,” noting that “everything was so hard” when her anxiety intensified.


“At some point I thought I was having a heart attack. I talked to a cardiologist and he said that I don’t have a heart attack, that my heart is broken and I need to be held,” she continued. “If I applied too much energy, I knew my bones would break. 7-9 months ago, I couldn’t imagine anything but a hard, cold bathroom floor. I was a shell of a man. And the worst thing was that I felt lonely.”

Spencer admitted that at the time she was “not doing well,” adding: “It wasn’t easy for me to love. I remember thinking, “What the hell, you’re living your best life, and how do you even manage it!?”

During her healing journey, Spencer was slowly but surely able to find peace and joy again.

“I took care of myself like never before. I was circling with women. To witness your greatest despair is a very vulnerable and beautiful thing. I was working with a shadow. I planned my grief and physical care like it was my damn job,” the Rebel alum noted. “Because it was. And then… there was more light. And every day something or someone appeared to become a warm glow. My sense of humor began to return. I remembered that laughing was an option.”

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Getting the role of her new “dream job” also helped Spencer cope, as she interacted with the “most wonderful” new colleagues and starred on the same sound stage as the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

“I have to make people laugh and then shower them with flowers. Two of my favorite things. I remembered that I love to play,” she concluded her post on Thursday, noting that a summer trip with her best friends and another with her son further contributed to her current state of happiness. “I started to integrate like never before. And little by little I started to feel at home.”

Following Spencer’s impressive social media post, several of her celebrity friends praised her candor, including Mindy Kaling, Timeless co-star Matt Lanter, Michelle Monaghan and Olivia Munn.

“I love you endlessly. I am so touched and so inspired by you. I’m so proud of you. 💜💜💜💜💜💜, – said the showrunner of “Anatomy of Passion” Krista Vernoff.


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